Dare to Lead by Brené Brown was release a week ago!

I am a huge fan of Brené Brown, finding her work during an emotionally painful time in my life, and when I was ready to hear it, I accredit to changing my life. She has wisdom that is only achieved through taking an in-depth inventory of her own emotional life, and those that she studied in her research.  In her new book she explores what it truly means to lead from the inside out. As I begin to read her new work, I found this quote really inspiring and cultivating a desire to be an even better version of myself.

“When we dare to lead, we don’t pretend to have the right answers; we stay curious and ask the right questions. We don’t see power as finite and hoard it; we know that power becomes infinite when we share it with others. We don’t avoid difficult conversations and situations; we lean into vulnerability when it’s necessary to do good work.”

What I take from that is that leading is not being the smartest person in the room, not needing to posture your confidence, your intellect, and your influence as though those aspects of you are your true strengths and that leading and power are things to share and empower others with. By facing things that make us uncomfortable or are not our beliefs with curiosity, peace and respect we can create an even stronger sense of connection. Connection is what helps us lead even more people to their own good work and in essence our own good work.

I think we can all learn from one another, and by doing so we are building a stronger future for ourselves and others.

I encourage you to buy her new book Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts here

Work in Progress: Time Spent Living After an Eating Disorder

Coming out about my own mental health history is always something I struggle with as a therapist. Worried about blurring boundaries with my clients, with colleagues, with the public at large. In the same mindset, I’m a human, I have human problems and there is no shame in that. So I’ve been slowly working on something that I don’t know exactly what it will become, but its my story and my sole home of telling my story is that others will relate, grow, feel connected, and find hope. So I’ve taken a small excerpt of what I’ve written and wanted to share it. Even if it helps one person, thats enough.

“When I finally minimized the time I spent thinking about food, and my body size, I had time to think about so many other important, inspirational, creative and fulfilling things that simply didn't have space in my life before recovery. I don’t want to convey that I’m a pro at intuitive eating says, but I do my best and this is a huge part of how I recovered and why I had more free mental space.

Full disclosure: There are some days I notice myself being worried about my weight, or whether I will look good in an outfit, or I compare myself to someone else, I’m not perfect. So this is me being honest with myself. I live in this dialectic space of recovery by reminding myself the whole world is obsessed with these things, so if I think about it, that doesn't mean I am out of recovery. My progress has allowed me to not have food and my body be my primary focus in life, and realize that my worth as a human isn’t attached to my body size. I feel confident that I keep practicing honoring my body, trusting myself and keep morals out of food then I have made progress and I’m in love with that progress. “

Suicide Prevention Awareness Week September 9th-15th

Suicide is often the last thing that people want to talk about. It often lives in the darkest part of our minds, and is linked with feelings of fear, shame, loneliness. Over the past few years, it does seem that people are talking about it more, more crisis centers are being established across the country. More teachers, managers, parents and professionals are being educated on the signs of someone feeling depressed, anxious, and/or suicidal. AND we must keep moving forward on building awareness about prevention.

Here are some simple things that you can do to help:

1. Ask! There has long been this myth that if you ask someone if they are suicidial that they will become suicidal, this is far from true, and most people will give you an indication on whether your suspicions are accurate when you simply ask: “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”

2. Keep them safe. If you are worried that you alone will not be able to keep a person safe bring them to a walk-in center, or the ER where trained professionals can monitor them, and help improve the individuals stability and safety.

3. Be connected. Often times when a person feels suicidal they are at a point where they feel that nothing will get better, and that no one can help them. Remind the person that they are not alone, and that support for their mental health is available.

4. Don’t judge, validate, Being vulnerable can be extremely difficult, do your best to express compassion and understanding for why the person feels the way they do. Offer support, rather than solutions in the moment.

5. Follow up. Ask the person how they feel, and do your best to ignore signs of them needing help.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741-741. You can reach Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860 (U.S.) or 877-330-6366 (Canada) and The Trevor Project at 866-488-7386.

How to Rekindle Old Friendships?!

I often find that people feel isolated, disconnected, and lonely. Making friends as young adult or in general any one that finds themselves uncomfortable with communicating with new people. So if you struggle to make new friends, one option is to rekindle friendships that either fell apart, grew distant or have barely started. Here are some quick tips to help build or rebuild friendships:

1. Start by just reaching out. Often times we think that we have to wait around for things to just develop or happen, in life and friendship it often pays to be proactive. If you don't call or text no one knows that you want to talk or connect with them. They may be waiting on you just like you're waiting them on. So stop waiting and pick up the phone.

2. Be the bigger person and apologize. Often times friendships can come to a screaming halt when neither person is willing to concede. Ask yourself, if being "right" really worth loosing a friendship over, is what you stopped talking over really that important, do you think that perhaps things are really a just a misunderstanding? Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride, to let someone in. 

3. Diffuse any conflict with fun. Never avoid conflict just because you’re afraid to work through those issues at hand. Instead, address the problem before it gets out of control – but find a way to make it fun instead of taxing. Talk to them openly, and ask them how you can begin to enjoy each other again rather than fight. 

4. Pretend to get to know the person again.  Start new, rather than holding on toast hurt, assumptions or negativity, start by getting to know the person again as if for the first time, to help form a new, even stronger bond.