Work in Progress: Time Spent Living After an Eating Disorder

Coming out about my own mental health history is always something I struggle with as a therapist. Worried about blurring boundaries with my clients, with colleagues, with the public at large. In the same mindset, I’m a human, I have human problems and there is no shame in that. So I’ve been slowly working on something that I don’t know exactly what it will become, but its my story and my sole home of telling my story is that others will relate, grow, feel connected, and find hope. So I’ve taken a small excerpt of what I’ve written and wanted to share it. Even if it helps one person, thats enough.

“When I finally minimized the time I spent thinking about food, and my body size, I had time to think about so many other important, inspirational, creative and fulfilling things that simply didn't have space in my life before recovery. I don’t want to convey that I’m a pro at intuitive eating says, but I do my best and this is a huge part of how I recovered and why I had more free mental space.

Full disclosure: There are some days I notice myself being worried about my weight, or whether I will look good in an outfit, or I compare myself to someone else, I’m not perfect. So this is me being honest with myself. I live in this dialectic space of recovery by reminding myself the whole world is obsessed with these things, so if I think about it, that doesn't mean I am out of recovery. My progress has allowed me to not have food and my body be my primary focus in life, and realize that my worth as a human isn’t attached to my body size. I feel confident that I keep practicing honoring my body, trusting myself and keep morals out of food then I have made progress and I’m in love with that progress. “

Body Image is Closey Linked to Self-Esteem

Negative body image often brings low self-esteem. They can change the way you understand your value and worth. Healthy body image and self-esteem are a big part of well-being.

 Negative body image may cause:

• Substance Abuse
  • Teens abuse drugs or substances to control their weight or might turn to drugs or substances as an attractive way to cope with body image issues.
• Depression
  • Almost 50% of people with eating disorders meet the clinical criteria for depression.
  • Changing adolescent bodies and overwhelming hormones may create depression and body image issues.
• Anxiety
  • Body image issues may cause social anxiety and cause individuals to obsess over what others think about their bodies.
• Eating Disorders
  • Teen males with body image issues may develop eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia as a coping method.
• Excessive Weight Lifting and Injury
  • Insecurities about body image may cause males to weight lift excessively, and incorrectly, risking injury. As well as engage in a variety of exercises that may turn into compulsions.
• Suicidal Thoughts
  • Body image issues contribute to a negative sense of self, and hopelessness. Those who thought they were overweight had more suicidal thoughts than those who didn’t.

How To Create A Healthy Positive Body Image

One of the missions I have in life is to help encourage people create a healthy, positive body image. The first step to this mission, is to practice myself, the second is to educate, and finally help emotional healing to occur.

So, I've done work on myself with therapist and will continue to allow my journey and story to evolve. With this practice of self-love I continuly propel myself to be in means slowing down, eating a balanced diet and practicing yoga. Today I want to address how helpful it can be to your mental health and body image, to create and cultivate a yoga practice.

Yoga And You

Find a teacher and a space to do yoga where diversity and inclusion is celebrated. Stay focused on what makes your body feel good. There are classes where having a certain body, or "nailing" the pose isn't the point of the class, those are the classes I encourage you to find. It may take a few times, but I know they are out there.

One of the first tenants of yoga is ahimsa (nonviolence)—do no harm to yourself or others. The media often is creating unrealistic images of beauty that is harmful to you. Therefore, it’s up to you to set those images aside, love yourself and be kind to yourself. You are beautiful as you are.

In your physical asana practice, focus more on what you can do and less on trying to be perfect at it. Mainstream media will continue to post picture perfect images, but I encourage you to change the esthetic and broaden the idea of what yoga looks like. There are entire organizations calling for yoga to be more about the practice and less about the body. In addition here in Denver there are even instructors that focus on being diverse, such as big booty yoga. I encourage you to post pictures of yourself doing your poses, to help break down what others believe about body image and yoga, as well as to celebrate you just doing you!

The Body Positivity Movement

There are a few tenants to the body positivity movement, including encouragement of youth and adults to reconnect with their bodies innate wisdom for more balance in not only they way they treat their bodies but also the way the see their bodies. This movement is focused on creating a world in which people are liberated from self-hate, and value their unique beauty.

Body positivity goes beyond just your body size, its means loving all ages, sizes, sexual orientations, genders, ethnicities, abilities, and socioeconomic levels with a whole-person, non-shaming approach to the mystery and miracle of living in a human body.

This message in valuable, because negative body image is linked to poor overall life quality.  Leading to poor self-care, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, self-harming behaviors (e.g., cutting, suicide), substance abuse, weight cycling, and relationship violence. There is true concern about these harmful behaviors in teens and young adults, which is why it is imperative to everyone create positive relationships with their physical selves in order to achieve their full potential.

So what would it look like if you reimagined beauty? How would you feel about telling yourself that you are beautiful in the mirror everyday for the next 5 days? You may think its radical to even attempt to believe it, and yet its true.