4 Types of Bullying and A Way to Stop it

Type of Bullying #1: Verbal Bullying

Verbal bullying can include teasing, inappropriate comments, name calling, threats and even offensive hand gestures. Any of these acts in written form also constitute verbal bullying.

Such bullying can lead to psychological harm for students, such as lower self-esteem, anxiety or depression.

Type of Bullying #2: Social Bullying

Social bullying can include intentionally leaving someone out of activities, excluding them from lunch tables or other groups, telling other children not to be friends with someone, embarrassing someone in public and rumor-spreading.

This type of bullying can have the same psychological effects as verbal bullying but is more likely to lead to isolation and other anti-social behavior. Parents.com says this type of bullying is more common among female students.

Type of Bullying #3: Physical Bullying

Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, spitting, pushing and stealing or breaking someone’s belongings.

Victims of this bullying may have cuts, bruises, damaged belongings or clothes, headaches or stomach aches.

Type of Bullying #4: Cyber bullying

This emerging form of bullying includes many of the same behaviors as social and verbal bullying, only they take place online. There are countless ways that students can communicate these days, but social media has made it easier to target individuals and publish threatening, hurtful or offensive information about someone.

Victims of cyber bullying will exhibit similar behaviors to victims of social or verbal bullying, but it may be joined by a dramatic change in their use of social media and other online channels.

Ways to Combat All Types of Bullying

Authority figures, including parents and teachers, can encourage students to report bullying whenever they see it, whether its directed at them or another person. Anonymous tip lines can be a great way to encourage reporting, without your child feeling as though they will be more harshly persecuted by the bully.

Giving students anti-bullying training is also a good way to stop bullying. I offer a talk that I can come to your child's school to address bullying. Its been researched and found that students given anti-bullying training make a bigger different curbing bullying than teachers or school staff members.

Adults should never tell a student to simply ignore bullying or to fight back. Even though this feels like sound advice, often times the situation can get worse if this is the action the child/student takes. Similarly, if an authority figure speaks to a bully once and forgets the matter it will likely do little to solve the problem. Consistent intervention and support is best when trying to handle matters such as chronic bullying. 

If you have concerns that need to be addressed with the school, advocate for your child/student, if you need outside support in this ask for a student advocate, call a therapist, or programs like ARC that are in the community. 

Media Bombards Us All the Time

I have heard the word "slim" and "lean" replace the word "thin" or "skinny" recently, in an effort to be more, what? In my opinion stating words the represent a body size other that what the reader is can alter the way an individual feels about their own body. These "diets" of eat as much as you want and stay slim.... well isn't that a wonder plan, just like every other diet that ever existed. All of that language and thought process still can lead anyone to a dangerous mind set where their focus is on the size of their body, not the health of their body. 

I recently even saw a yoga teach post on Facebook about the joys of "allowing herself to eat a fruit bowl", ummm excuse me? Why do we need to have these rules where we "allow" ourselves to enjoy something?! Its food, its purpose isn't to be moral, or good and bad, or off limits. Having this mentality enables the relationship we have with food have so much power over our mindset.

What happened to when we were all toddlers and we ate intuitively what and how much our body was asking for? When eating till were was satisfied was exactly what we needed, and eating fruit was a necessity not a privilege we allow ourselves. After all we do live in a country and a world where people cannot always have access to the foods they need to survive, so why are we denying ourselves from what we need, if many of us middle class Americans can eat what we need to be healthy almost everyday. 

At times I think about how other countries and people look at us, having this estranged relationship with food when we have so much access to it. So I'm just asking every individual that the next time they label a food, remember that your thoughts and feelings about that food, isn't necessary a "fact", its just what we have told ourselves about it. Start to be curious about those thoughts and feelings, and figure out what you truly believe for you start putting labels on things. 

Okay, end of rant. 

"Should I just tell myself to 'THINK POSITIVE'?"

Before I go into this post, I want to be clear that there is nothing actually "wrong" or "incorrect" about thinking positive. In fact, honestly think telling yourself positive things can help you turn around your mood, if said repeatedly and mindfully.

However "should-ing" yourself is the first red-flag that its not going to be very a very effective practice, second of all thinking positively isn't the only way to feel positive. In fact, removing judgment from our thoughts and our language can be even more beneficial in many way. The labeling of positive and negative, can get anyone into a trouble/moral dilemma and stuck in "black and white thinking.  

By having attachments to the outcomes of events and situations we are in, it can take us away from the purpose of the lesson from the event and the event in it self. Blocking us from feeling our feelings, since we may try to demand ourselves to see it "up-side". So take a deep breath and feel your feelings.

I do believe that speaking to yourself with affirmations, that speak abundance and health into our life is one of the best "positive thinking" that can be done by any individual daily. In other words, there is no way to "make it all better with a positive thought", its more about creating a mindset of abundance and to move cultivating a midset that is moving you closer to the things you want in your life.