Creating Space

Often times in my life I become routined. I wake up at the same time each day, I go to work, I come home, I go to bed. I’d dare to say this is a common routine most working adults have. If we get in this seemingly mundane routine and find little to no fulfillment in it, it’s logical to infer this may be a source of discontent, restlessness, or even depression in our lives. 

In titling this Create Space, I want to use that terminology to mean: use your wiggle room, and use it to find time, find fulfillment in your everyday. Sure it’d be nice if we could all stop our days and jet set around the world to find the time for peace and fulfillment. I’d argue you can create space in your everyday to find the time, the energy, the encouragement to find that fulfillment apart of your everyday.

Why wait to learn to do yoga or learn to paint, or even read that book you’ve had sitting on your nightstand? Take a deep breath and breathe into the wiggle room that exists in your life to be a little selfish and take care of that restlessness in you and do what fulfills you everyday, not just on the weekends or on vacations. You deserve it yesterday, today, and tomorrow! 

Asking for Help

A variety of therapeutic theories promote that asking for help is a sign of strength, emotionally vulnerability and humility. When you ask people, even your therapist might pose a question that is directed for you to answer for yourself, with straight forward advice or simply the “follow your gut” response. 

As an individual you can grow by asking others, think of it as an information gathering process, doing the research, reviewing the evidence. 

However what do you do when you ask for help, and you don’t receive a response? What if the response you do receive is primarily motivated by the desires of the person responding?

In either of these situations I try to look within myself in why these situations may be the result of my inquisition. Do I want someone to solve the problem for me? Or take the responsibility of the situation out of my hands and place it in another’s, so if something undesirable happens I can blame them? 

I’d encourage everyone to remember that something’s are not meant to be resolved, and just are, which is a part of acceptance, even if it’s something that we don’t like. 

Mediate and pray about what’s the most effective way to handle the conundrums you find yourself in.

I’d love to hear back from you, leave your thoughts below.

Being a Helper

Bringing people together, holding space for someone else pain, or even patting someone on the back, can change someone's day, and fulfill a passion.  

My passion in life is being the best person I can be. To be the women my mom has raised, I love to help people out of there problems by guiding them with my advice. Doing so makes me feel good inside; knowing that I can help someone through their problems they are going through. To give them advice I would take myself, if I were in their position. Everyone has a passion in life, if it’s to become a successful man or women in their carrier or to be a stay at home parent for their family that they chose to have. Mine is to help other people, always making sure that person has someone to talk to, someone to see their point of view. I love when my sister comes to me with her problems because I love the feeling of knowing what I’m saying or doing is helping her to be in a better state of mind. To help her through whatever is bothering her, or even if it’s as simple as her having a bad day. I will be there for her no matter how small the problem may or may not be. Because seeing her happy and knowing she is okay is all the satisfaction I need in life. My passion is to make the people around me feel like they’re not alone in feeling the way they feel, that it’s not unusual to feel like the world is crashing down right in front of you. People have their bad days it’s not uncommon, the way I see a brightness come back to someone’s eyes that their day has just gotten better is what I live for, it’s what I love. And I will continue to have this passion throughout my life time, because this passion to me is the best passion anyone could ever have in my eyes. Family means everything.

Granting Grace and Peace

Today I had a moment in which I was reminded about how many people go without the help they deserve. 

I was at a local market siting outside doing some paperwork for my job and overheard a conversation from three individuals. They occasionally turned to me to ask me questions about myself and seemed to have bright spirits. 

As I sat there doing my work, I overheard their conversation about their lives. There was two young women (25-28 years old), one white another black, and an older (45-50 years old) black male. They were sitting around a table discussing what everyone does, their current life. The one girl spoke of how she was trying to get money to get home because her boyfriend had left her at the market, had recently used all of their money to buy illicit drugs, which led to their eviction and homelessness. She appeared quite annoyed with his behavior, which led her to want to engage in wanting to use her food stamp money to buy food then return it for cash so she can buy her own illicit drugs. The other girl had cuts on her arm, and spoke about the cuts as though she had self inflicted them, her leg was also in a brace that she said was because of a “fall”. The older man was telling the girls about how his old lady was going to kick him out, and how he got caught up in a drug deal happening at a local strip club. They finished the conversation by all sharing a beer.

A few thoughts ran through my mind at this moment, as I was both minding my own work, and being invited to join in their conversation from time to time. 

1. They all looked like they needed a hug, some acceptance and love

2. I wonder if things could change for them if they sought help

3. What barriers are they facing that they are in this current state

4. Perhaps they don’t want to change

5. I could offer guidance and suggestions where they could seek help, but who am I to speak to them as though I know something they don’t 

6. Everyone can be subjected to these situations

7. Why was I witnessing this moment, what’s the purpose of me observing this moment

8. How can I look to my higher power for insight and growth after and during this moment

9. I want to wish them all well (so I did)

10. Do I think I am better then them, because I was blessed with a different life? 

In these moment reflection I feel is very valuable and if I could change anything about their lives in this moment, I want to grant them Grace and Peace. We don’t have control of everything, and I do have control with how I handle myself, and any acceptance of a situation is a step that I believe is in the right direction.