I am not sure if I have ever truly followed a passion. However, I did once passionately attempt to achieve a goal. This goal was to become a physician. This is the closest anything has come to being a passion for me. Although I did not achieve this goal, it has still had great impact on my emotional and mental health. When I first began following this passion, the metaphorical finish line seemed so far away that, in a way, it did not even seem real. This end-goal was something I had always told myself and everyone else that I would achieve, and yet, I could not actually see myself achieving it. I do not mean by this that I did not want to achieve it. On the contrary, I worked very hard for it. However, I made many mistakes in doing so. I did not manage my time well, and I spent many sleepless nights trying to keep the goal within reach. Some would argue that, if achieving this goal was not foremost among my priorities at all times, than it was never truly my passion. I have never enjoyed hearing this. I must admit, however, that in the process of pursuing this passion, I was more or less "going through the motions." I felt as if I was being carried along by a current, but not sure where the river would actually lead. The pursuit of this passion left room for no other passions. As a result of ultimately not fulfilling this passion, I feel as if I have shrunken away from the world that I once knew, abandoning many relationships I once held dear due to sheer embarrassment. This has led to a good deal of depression, and feelings of loneliness. I lived in an exile of my own creation. I mounted so much mental stress upon myself in the pursuit of this passion, that I now feel a sort of numbness. Sometimes stress can be a healthy thing. It can remind us of the gravity of a situation and spur us into action. However, like a lab animal that has been overexposed to a stimulus, I felt desensitized. What I have learned from this is that the pursuit of a passion can be stressful. However, the aftermath of failing in the pursuit of a passion can be even more stressful. Therefore, I believe it is essential to remain mindful of why one chooses to pursue a passion, and why that passion is worth the stress and efforts that it may entail.
Aspiring to be Great
As I sit here, I am wondering to myself, how does one become a “great X” or a “great Y”? First things that comes to my mind is practice, then patience, then taking risks, then making mistakes, and then more practice.
I want to be GREAT, to make an impact because I want my existence, my soul, my brain to mean more than just “She was a nice and cool person”. I want to be known for being something that others will aspire to be. I want to change something in the world, that helps life continue to evolve into a more beautiful and elegant existence. With more acceptance and peace…
If we look at people like the musical artist Macklemore, he’s even famous and he made a song about loving who you want to freely, and song was popular for all of 4-5 months. Is that really a lasting impact? But then their are people like the current president of the United States, he’ll be remembered for more than just this life time I’d imagine.
There is no math equation to solve this “how to be great?” dilemma, to be at a place of rest in this struggle for wanting to be the greatest I try to walk the middle path, and remember that I have to do what I can each day to make the impact I want to on the world. I’d love to hear feedback on this one, if you have any thoughts or suggestions please post them.
Mindfulness In Denver
Mindfulness has become a buzz word in the business of being "happy" or at "peace". Even the Denver Post, wrote about Mindfulness and how different organizations such as Be Mindful has been focused on reaching out to homeless youth recently right here in Denver.
Well I do believe they are on to something since being in the here and now can ease anxiety (at times feeling of fear of what is to come) and depression (possible regret of events in the past). It sounds simple enough, just practice being in the here and now, and stretch your brain to focus and bring about emotional regulation....
I only wish it was that simple.
I have found that through practicing mindfulness starting at 3 minutes a day is the best way to start. Its like learning to run a 5K, typically you don't wake up one day and run 3.2 miles for the first time ever without practicing. First you have to warm up, then stretch out your muscles, eat properly. stay well hydrated... and so on.
Practice and prepare yourself to be mindful. You can do this by practicing yoga, focusing on your breathing pattern, taking a warm bath, walking your dog... Just take three minutes to stop your mind, or looking at your to-do list. Slow your mind down, and intensionally notice what you are feeling, seeing, or experiencing in the moment...
Just 3 minutes thats all it takes to start.
Breathe
Have you ever been in a situation where you were instructed to “just breathe”? Perhaps this occurred before you had an important interview, or test or performance? Breathing is vital to us, yet often times we take it for granted or forget that we are actually breathing.
With that I wanted to address the value of breath today and ways in which our breath can effect us.
Breathing or inhalation and exhalation is an autonomic process in our bodies, in other words, we don’t have to consciously ask our bodies to breath, it’s a “built in” feature. As we breath we inhale oxygen, nitrogen, carbon and other gases present in the air. As we exhale our breathe primarily we are letting our carbon dioxide. That science lesson is meant to highlight the chemical reaction that takes place in our beautifully complicated bodies, as well recognize the importance of taking effective breaths. An ineffective breath is called paradoxical breathing, which is when you inhale with the chest muscles and exhale from the abdomen. Effective breathing is the breath or “natural breath” occurs when you take breaths from the abdomen. Take these steps to facilitate deep breathing:
Breath in through your nose slowly and evenly and guide air to your abdomen. As you do so, experience your stomach region expanding and inflating. After holding this breath for a second or two, release it with the same pace in which you drew in.
Practice of this conscious breath will allow the natural breath to occur more regularly.
This technique is useful for Mindful breathing that is taught in Distress Tolerance of DBT. The technique may benefit anyone experiencing anxiety, stress, tension, or anyone that simply wants to experience the natural breath.
The breath is endless, and you may breathe in ease, well being and peace, breathe out tension, worry and pain.
Have a mindful day!
Times are a Changing
The only thing is life that is constant is change...
How do we manage these changes if we are feel scared, or stuck? If off, having those feelings or really any strong feelings about something new in life are completely normal and valid. I'm notorious for wanting to fun and hide, others face anger or feelings of being overwhelmed.
Here are my TOP 5 skills to use when faced with expected or unexpected change:
1. Take a step back, and look at the situation from a different angle, ask yourself what are the pros and cons of this change, and weigh out your options
2. Set an intention for how you want to be (or behave) during the change, so you can help prevent yourself from anger or sadness
3. Do at least one thing thats the same, so you can know that you will be ensured to have at least one comfort item/feelings/situation to hold on to during the change
4. Talk about your feelings with friends, family, your therapist, you'll find out fast, that you are really not alone in your thoughts, feelings or experience
5. Take it one step, one day, one moment at a time, remember that you are ultimately in control of YOU, maybe not your environment or other people, but you are truly in-control of you.