Passion or Goal?

I am not sure if I have ever truly followed a passion. However, I did once passionately attempt to achieve a goal. This goal was to become a physician. This is the closest anything has come to being a passion for me. Although I did not achieve this goal, it has still had great impact on my emotional and mental health. When I first began following this passion, the metaphorical finish line seemed so far away that, in a way, it did not even seem real. This end-goal was something I had always told myself and everyone else that I would achieve, and yet, I could not actually see myself achieving it. I do not mean by this that I did not want to achieve it. On the contrary, I worked very hard for it. However, I made many mistakes in doing so. I did not manage my time well, and I spent many sleepless nights trying to keep the goal within reach. Some would argue that, if achieving this goal was not foremost among my priorities at all times, than it was never truly my passion. I have never enjoyed hearing this. I must admit, however, that in the process of pursuing this passion, I was more or less "going through the motions." I felt as if I was being carried along by a current, but not sure where the river would actually lead. The pursuit of this passion left room for no other passions. As a result of ultimately not fulfilling this passion, I feel as if I have shrunken away from the world that I once knew, abandoning many relationships I once held dear due to sheer embarrassment. This has led to a good deal of depression, and feelings of loneliness. I lived in an exile of my own creation. I mounted so much mental stress upon myself in the pursuit of this passion, that I now feel a sort of numbness. Sometimes stress can be a healthy thing. It can remind us of the gravity of a situation and spur us into action. However, like a lab animal that has been overexposed to a stimulus, I felt desensitized. What I have learned from this is that the pursuit of a passion can be stressful. However, the aftermath of failing in the pursuit of a passion can be even more stressful. Therefore, I believe it is essential to remain mindful of why one chooses to pursue a passion, and why that passion is worth the stress and efforts that it may entail.