Returning to Self (A "How To" Guide)

It’s been awhile since there has been a new blog update, so I figured the perfect topic would be how to “return to self” or in other words, after you loosing yourself in the minutia of life how do you still return to what you love, are compassionate about, to yourself. Tons of things can distract us from being who we want to be, peers, family expectations/responsibilities, school/work, other things that we busy ourselves with. We can recognize when we have gotten off track when we notice feeling exhausted often, lonely, sad, discontent with life and where it’s taking us. We may start engaging in dysfunctional behaviors like playing video games to excess, over using substances, eating too much or too little, over working etc.

Here are things that you can do to recenter yourself, and connect with who you are:

• Spending a few minutes near a river, stream, or creek or simply outside to enjoy nature

• Lying on the ground and taking in the fresh air

• Being with a loved one without distractions

• Sitting on the porch while reading, or knitting something, or with a nice drink

• Walking or driving for an hour, any direction without a destination

• Play air (or real) guitar or drums while listening to music

• Greeting sunrise

• Driving out to where the city lights do not interfere with the night sky

• Praying or meditation

• Sitting on a bridge with legs dangling over

• Sitting by a window in a cafe and writing

• Sitting in a circle of trees

• Potting plants, being sure to get hands very muddy

• Beholding beauty, grace, gratitude of things in life

All of these examples and more can help you slow down and refill your energy, with little effort. Making this a routine creates a cycle in which you can return home to myself every morning and every evening. Perhaps doing something on a schedule will bare the most fruits of true connection with self. The great thing is that after you do these practices, you can return to the world with renewed energy to go about your daily life. By taking time for yourself, the quality of your work in the rest of your life can improve.

Bringing in the New Year without the Stress of Typical Resolutions

Happy New Year everyone,

Within the last week, I've seen a lot of people reflecting what has happened in the pervious year, the highs the lows, where they have been and where they'd like to go. It also seems like there is a trend to move away from the traditional "resolutions" that are associated with the New Year, which in my opinion shows how people are becoming more realistic with themselves. Now I don't have the research proving that less people are making Resolutions, and this is purely anecdotal, however it is a trend I'd support.

Putting pressure on yourself to change your body, your finances, your relationships can be hazardous if you are expecting quick results. This is rather unmindful to expect to plow down these goals without the right resources and support. Plus, only 8% of people accomplish their resolutions.   I believe this is because of the rigid mindset that people take when creating their resolutions, they disallow flexibity and believe that once they are off track even for a day or a week that they start thinking "whats the point, I already failed, I might as well as not try". Or they have even deeper internal beliefs (perhaps unconscious) about themselves that get in the way such as "I'm lazy", "I'm too weak", or "I'm stupid". 

This is not to say that its impossible to make a healthy choice and intention to change your life, my point here is that it takes more than a step by step plan, it takes a healthy mindset and perspective. Lets look at how external and internal pressures might change the entire feelings and thoughts towards a behavior change.

An external pressure may be from another person or system that exists to complete a work assignment by a certain time line, this pressure can often gets muddled with shame, guilt, and fear, if you don't have any internal desire to complete said assignment. Now, what if the drive was internal, for example you arrive early to work not because your boss wants you to, but so you can settle in, drink your coffee without interruptions, turn on the music you like or put essentials in your diffuser and just sit and get in a good mindset for the day. Change like that would be driven by feelings of satisfaction, peace seeking, and being kind to yourself.  

Resolutions can be achieved if its something that comes from an internal place, with a healthy mindset, and making intentional choice not to beat yourself up if you are not always "perfect" with it. Having support to reach your goals is also helpful, and if therapy, coaching, a solid friend, partner, or parent is what you need to accomplish your goal, then ask for that support. 

5 Ways to Boost Your Mood

1. Create more YOU time, do things you love rather than things you "have to"

2. Practice a Digital Detox, stay away from your phone, computer, tv, gaming system for an entire day or two. Only allowing yourself 30 minutes each day to check your email or phone to make sure there are no emergencies 

3. Spend time with the people you love and that love you back. Allow work, and your to-do list to float out of your mind when spending quality time with your loved ones

4. Get enough sleep, and eat well

5. Organize the space you're in, having a clear space can help you have a clear mind