What Goes into Couples Therapy

By: Grace Smartt

Humans have a complex capacity to communicate, love, & connect with one another in a way that no other beings can.

Within the complexity of relationships often comes difficulty in knowing how to maintain committed relationships. Couples sometimes feel that they are no longer being loved, heard, and seen in the way they desire and need to be. People experience a large range of emotions from pain, sadness, and grief to contentment, euphoria, and peace. All emotions are fleeting, including the feelings we feel for our significant other/s.

So, what do we do when our love starts to taper off, our communication changes, our history becomes triggered in the present relationship, or the physical passion is lost? People have different responses to the changes that happen in relationships. Some people shut down and withdraw, some may engage in hurtful behaviors like infidelity or criticism, and others will pursue their partner to try and feel heard.

Couples counseling can help people in relationships navigate the complexity within their relationship and learn how to better manage and respond to the relationship issues. Couples therapy not only helps couples rebuild their relationship but to better understand themselves and how one functions in relationships. What someone needs, desires, and fears in a relationship is inextricably tied to many other facets of oneself and their background. Couples therapy makes one face themselves in a new light where they are confronted with how they play a role in the dynamic of the relationship so that they can begin to create a new one.

Anyone Who Is in a relationship qualifies for couples Therapy.

Whether you’re monogamous or non-monogamous, queer or heterosexual, married or dating, living together or separately, couples therapy helps people navigate their relationships no matter what their status or label is. However, there are some couples therapists who specialize in working with specific populations, such as couples who identify as queer. Finding a couples therapist that fits your relationship needs is important, as there is no one size fits all. 

Couples counseling can help address any issue that is impairing your relationship. Some of the most common issues seen in couples therapy are ineffective communication, infidelity, wanting clarity on whether you should stay together or break up, establishing boundaries, arguing a lot, sexual dissatisfaction, differences in parenting style, a decline in passion and love for one another, changes in identity, value and belief conflict, and feeling as though you are emotionally unfulfilled. This list is by no means exhaustive. Generally speaking, couple’s therapists, such as the ones at WellMinded Counseling, are trained to help each partner communicate their needs and perspective, as well as understand your partner’s, but there are many different ways therapists approach couples therapy. 

10 Tips from Couples Therapy to Improve Your Relationship

Here are ten general tips to consider to help improve your relationship that a couple’s therapist can help you expand on in more depth: 

1. Practice effective communication by using “I feel” statements, avoiding “you” statements, and reflecting on what you’re hearing your partner/s say back to them. Allow your partner/s to clarify what they’re saying if they do not feel you’re hearing them correctly.

2. Identify what your needs are and communicate them clearly. Do not expect your partner/s to be a mind reader.

3. Practice expressing daily appreciation for the small, and big, things your partner/s does.

4. Increase the positive moments in your relationship.

5. Build nonsexual intimacy.

6. Avoid engaging in criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, invalidation, and contempt.

7. Set expectations and boundaries.

8. Take accountability for the role you play in the relationship issues.

9. Take time to get to know each other’s inner world, dreams, and desires.

10. Seek individual therapy as well.

Start Couples Therapy in Denver or Broomfield, CO, or Online

Are you ready to start addressing the issues that are impairing your relationship? Do you want to work with a couples therapist at WellMinded Counseling to better understand your partner and how you each function in a relationship? We offer couples counseling in Denver, CO, Broomfield, CO, Tampa, FL, and online throughout Colorado and Florida. Here is how to get started:

1. Contact our therapy office

2. Meet with a Tampa couples therapist or a Colorado couples therapist for a free consultation.

3. Begin couples therapy and find relief from your relationship woes.

OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES We Offer in Colorado & Tampa, Florida

Therapy for depression isn’t the only service we offer. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services:

• Substance Abuse Counseling

• EMDR

• Couples Therapy

• Relationship Counseling

• Depression Treatment

• Trauma Treatment

• Teen therapy

• Self-Esteem Counseling

Contact our Denver, Colorado office today!