Let me first start off by saying Counting Calories is engagement in diet culture and the opposite of you listening to you body and engaging in intuitive eating. Diet culture preaches that you’re not good enough or fit enough unless you can get those Instagram likes for your toned, tight, “bikini body” (also wtf is a bikini body, isn’t any body in a bikini a “bikini body”, anyways…) its unrealistic, healthy and promotes an unhealthy relationship with food, your body, with social events that involve either of the two, and so on. Plus the industry will have you believing you need to buy some fitness book, or diet plan in order to achieve that instagram worthy body. This is a $30 billion industry (Health and Fitness) in the U.S, and it. has been growing by at least 3 - 4% annually for the last ten years and shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon. Its time to disengage from it, and stopping counting calories is one of the steps to disengage.

So why is it so important:

So many of the diet foods (foods advertised as low calorie foods) contain all sorts of chemicals produced in a lab somewhere that can potentially prove to be poisonous for the body and absolutely ruin the adrenals, cortisol levels, skin, hormone balance and nutrient absorption.
It takes the enjoyment out of food, you begin to see everything you eat some a scale of calories, and nutrient density and stop seeing it for what it is, fuel for your body.
The potential to become “addicted” to counting calories is ever so powerful as food and your body begin to be seen as “good” or “bad”
A calorie is NOT a calorie (contrary to the popular “a calorie is a calorie” belief). Our bodies process and metabolize fat, protein, and carbs VERY differently, and even different kinds of fats (saturated vs unsaturated) and carbs (simple vs complex) are metabolized in diverse ways. Making counting them pointless.
Stop looking at the nutritional panel altogether. It’s not as important as the ingredients, as what’s actually in the food you’re eating, you want to at real food don’t you?
By restricting calories (counting them insistently, generally leads to this), we are telling our bodies food is not available, which then slows our metabolism WAY down.
Finally your health is not based on just your calorie intake for the day. Your stress levels, exercise, water intake, sleep, eating nutrient rich foods, avoiding toxins, all contribute to your health. Calorie counting is not the answer!

Food for thought: The relationship between food and relationships

I've heard it said that "how you do one thing is how you do everything." Patterns we build permeate our lives. In my work with people with eating disorders , I have seen that people's relationships with food are often similar to their relationships with people. If "how you do one thing is how you do everything", then it follows that it would be helpful to notice relational patterns, put them in line with values, and capitalize on the potential for that change to influence other aspects in your life. Sometimes when you move social relationships towards values, your relationship with food shifts as a byproduct.

Anorexia Nervosa

Relationship with food characterized as: avoidant, fearful, rigid, insufficient, shame around size and hunger.
How do those patterns show up in relationships? Maybe you isolate or avoid people or avoid situations (likely ones involving food, but probably others as well). Maybe you have social anxiety. Maybe you are rigid with socializing and keep a tight schedule or get nervous is plans change or interactions arent neat and tidy. Maybe your social interactions happen infrequently or are surface level and dont sustain the human need for true connection. Maybe you are scared that being in relationships will feel suffocating or heavy or cause discomfort so you avoid them. Maybe you have a fear that you will be too much or need to much and end up people pleasing or keeping a distance in an attempt to stay small.

Bulimia Nervosa
Relationship with food characterized as: conflicted, chaotic, secretive, shame based.
How do those patterns show up in relationships? Maybe you seem to have alot of conflict in relationships. Maybe you struggle with boundaries and when to say "yes" or "no" or "I've had enough". Maybe you experience extreemes in relationships of being very close then very distant. Maybe you have guilt and shame over what you want or need or have done in relationships. Relationships may scare you and you struggle with keeping them in balance and tolerating the discomfort they can sometimes bring.

Binge Eating Disorder
Relationship with food characterized as: lacking boundaries, lacking sense of control, soothing or escapist.
How do those patterns show up in relationships? Maybe you struggle with knowing how much to give in relationships and end up people pleasing or going past your limits with relationships. Maybe in relationships you feel like you dont have a voice or that voice isnt respected when you set boundaries or express needs. Maybe you have a difficult time being alone and find people to fill your time, even when you know those people arent "good" for you. Maybe you have codependency traits and regulate your mood through focusing on others.

These lists certainly arent exhaustive and may not fit everyone perfectly. My intention is simply too spark curiosity. Its not helpful to judge or justify patterns. Better to simply observe them and then do what you can to align food and relationship patterns with long term goals and values.

If you notice that you resonate with any of these food or relational patterns, know that there is help and hope.

- By Erika Holmes, visit her site at: http://www.coloradocft.com/erika-holmes-lmft/

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