Judgemental frenemies

Frenemy: a person with whom one is friendly despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry.

We have all had them (at least it seems), someone we keep in our life because we want to fix them, or are to scared to say "no" to them, or we simply want to earn their approval. These thoughts and feelings can not only impact our relationship with them, it can effect our relationship with others and ourselves. Why may that be?

We want to change who we are to fit in with them?

We want to change who they are because they need "fixing"?

We want them to be happy?

We think they "need us"?

We are afraid of what they will say to others if we don't do everything they say?

We want to hold onto every relationship we have because we don't want to be alone?

etc...

See if these statements or one akin to these sounds like it fits how you feel about someone in your life. Do you feel comfortable, safe, and like yourself in these relationships? How much energy is consumed by participating in this relationship? Is this relationship benefiting you and them or either or?

To change this problem, look for friends who value you, value what you like, or what you do. People who share similar morals, ethics and values. Look for someone that you can bring any topic or conversation up with. Honor yourself and take the step to move away from Frenemies. You deserve more than that!

Commitment, are you ready?

There seems to be a tendency to draw back or hesitate when it comes to being decisive or making a commitment to something. In this delayed time of us not knowing what to do, we are keeping ourselves from what we can do, or dream we can. This may look like not calling a friend back to go out on Saturday night because you're not sure you'll have fun, or reluctantly changing a food preference or something much more substantial like deciding on what degree program to apply to, or choosing who to be romantically involved with. We are faced with choices everyday, things we are asked to commit to doing, or being a part of. These beginning, are much like any ending in that they can be difficult and/or exciting. 

Often time we build up this idea of what we are "suppose" to want, or what he "have" to do. The truth is, we listen to a ton of different opinions besides our own when we first attempt to make a decision when we are full of anxiety. We've all been there, and we most likely will fall into the trap again. It's about how you deal with the trap, and allow yourself to make a commitment. 

Well now you may be asking, "what if I make the wrong commitment?!?!?" 

There are many belief systems out there that support the idea of "what is meant to be will be", or a message that conveys that when we make a decision that is align with out values, and heart that the universe will support us. In other words making a decision or commitment, is not just a logic/brain game....

You have to use your heart and confidence in what you believe to help you make those commitments, to take those risks....

Because truly you do need to utilize both the logical and rational sides of your mind.