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Therapist Blog

Eating Disorders, moving past the stigma...

Shame is an ugly, nasty, and happiness stealing emotion. There is little progress on the road to recovery if its plagued with shame, or stigma.

Shame can show up in two ways, external and internal.

External shame is this real or perceived lower status results in feeling worthless and thinking that you don’t have anything of value to offer the world. When others shame individuals the feeling of hopelessness and despair elevate in those already suffering.

What this looks like is: "You're fine, suck it up" or "Just eat something and get over yourself" or "I wish, I was that thin" or "I don't believe you have an actual problem, its all in your head" are just a few examples.

Internal shame is thisdeep rending of the soul that causes us to exclaim, “Why did I do that? I don’t have any self-control” or having other versions of negative self talk...

When anyone shames or stigmatizes themselves they move further from recovery and deeper into the trap of being sick.

Its the language that needs to change.

We can move from one side to the other by changing our word choice, changing our perspective, to start being vulnerable and have the courage to talk about topics that don't gloss over the issue but help face it.

It can start in therapy, in support groups with a close friend that understands. The change just has to start before anything gets better.