The Body Keeps the Score

Open book with bookmark in the center. Plants in the background, represents reading through trauma struggles.

“The Body Keeps the Score” is a book written by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. The author is both a therapist, as well as a scientific researcher on psychology and trauma. He explores advances in the research of trauma and how we have learned how trauma affects us both physically and mentally. It explores how trauma affects us, using real examples that the author has experienced with his clients.

The effects of trauma are far-reaching, and they may affect individuals dealing with trauma and PTSD in more ways than they realize. Many individuals who have experienced trauma struggle to understand and communicate their feelings. It can be very helpful for these individuals to understand how their own minds have been affected by what they have experienced. “The Body Keeps the Score” can be a helpful tool for gaining more understanding.

Wooden doll, in action of walking in relation to trauma affecting the body.

Bessel Van der Kolk states that trauma is not the events that we have experienced, but how our body responds to those events. Trauma keeps our brains in “fight or flight” mode and doesn’t allow us to feel safe. Recognizing how trauma has affected us and taking steps to allow ourselves to feel safe is important in recovery.

Do you ever find yourself:

  • Having flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive memories of events that have happened to you in the past.

  • Avoiding things that remind you of the traumatic event(s) that happened to you because they cause you distress.

  • Having persistent numbness/apathy and detachment, or anxiety and hypervigilance?

It might be worth talking with a therapist or reading “The Body Keeps the Score”. These are normal responses to traumatic events; it’s the way that our brain tries to keep us alive. It is possible to make changes that will allow you to experience safety, support, trust, and happiness. You can reach out to a trauma-informed therapist to help you work through this, and therapy as well as tools like “The Body Keeps the Score” can help you gain greater understanding and less judgment towards the things that you are struggling with.

3 teachings from the author

Individual walking along the beach with a dog during sunset.

  • He teaches us what trauma is, and how it is different from everyday stressors that we experience. He explains how one event may cause trauma for one individual, but a different individual, would not be as affected by it.

  • He teaches how trauma affects us both mentally and physically - how it can have many symptoms that may be difficult for someone experiencing trauma to understand.

  • Lastly, he teaches ways that make it possible for someone who has had a traumatic experience to recover from that trauma, such as EMDR therapy. He explains them in ways that may make it easier for someone experiencing trauma to choose which method may be the right one for them.

Here is a helpful YouTube video in which Bessel van der Kolk details his views on trauma and things that may help someone work through it. What is trauma?

OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELLMINDED COUNSELING

Therapy for depression isn’t the only service we offer. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services:

What is Trauma Informed Therapy?

What does trauma treatment in therapy look like?

Photo of various size rocks stacked on top a larger rock to represent balance

First let’s begin by understanding that no one’s experience of trauma will be the same as another one’s experience of trauma, therefore trauma treatment will vary from individual to individual. When you are ready to depart on your journey of understanding your trauma, it is up to you to find what type of therapist fits best with you and your experiences.

What is trauma-informed therapy?

When one is looking to begin a trauma therapy journey, it is important to understand what trauma-informed therapy is. Trauma-informed therapists understand the all-encompassing impact of trauma on emotions, thoughts, the body, and the nervous system. They conceptualize symptoms of trauma as survival mechanisms rather than problems. Trauma-informed therapists actively work to create a safe and non-judgmental atmosphere for their clients through empowerment and collaboration. They acknowledge and understand that experiences of oppression i.e., homophobia, sexism, racism, and ableism are experiences of trauma, and actively work to be allies to marginalized communities. The purpose of trauma-informed therapy is to emphasize safety, collaboration, and empowerment while offering healthy skills and strategies to help one better understand, cope, and process emotions and memories tied to traumatic experiences.  

Trauma Therapy Treatment

There are many different approaches to treating trauma and PTSD. It is important to understand that one single approach will not fit everyone, therefore you and your therapist should collaborate in order to find what best fits your needs. Here are some well-known evidence-based treatments for trauma-informed therapy:

Two individual on a couch having a conversation. This photo represents processing trauma informed therapy in Broomfield CO.

Cognitive Processing Therapy

CPT helps clients to learn new, more positive ways of addressing trauma-related beliefs and emotions. CPT shines a light on maladaptive or self-blaming thoughts caused by trauma and guides clients in challenging those thoughts and behaviors.

Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE)

PE teaches individuals to gradually approach their trauma-related memories, feelings, and situations. The goal of this kind of therapy is to guide clients in learning that trauma-related memories and cues are not dangerous and to reform one’s thoughts and behaviors associated with those cues.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

EMDR believes that trauma and deeply held negative beliefs as a result of that trauma get trapped in the body. Thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations are activated while the stimulation helps reduce the emotional and physiological reaction to the trauma. EMDR uses bilateral sensory stimulation, memory recall, and grounding resources to reduce distress and desensitize clients to traumatic memory.

Other forms of trauma-informed therapy that aren’t specific to only trauma treatment but are still beneficial include:

Psychotherapy

An individual walking down a road with two balloons. This photo represents processing trauma informed therapy in Broomfield CO.

Also known as talk therapy, gives one an opportunity to speak about their trauma and work through the healing process.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

The goal of DBT is to help clients learn how to better regulate emotions. DBT helps instill new skills in order to help clients change unhealthy behaviors.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT helps one to develop psychological flexibility and is a form of behavioral therapy that combines mindfulness skills with the practice of self-acceptance. ACT encourages one to embrace their thoughts and feelings rather than fighting or feeling guilty for them.

If you are someone who has been affected by trauma you are not alone and there is hope. Here at WellMinded Counseling, we have various practitioners who practice using a variety of trauma-informed treatment approaches and can help you on your journey.

OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELLMINDED COUNSELING

Therapy for depression isn’t the only service we offer. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services:

Navigating Addictive Relationships

“I’m miserable when I’m with them, but I miss them horribly when I’m not with them.”

Have you ever felt this in a relationship? If so, you may be in something called an addictive relationship. Addictive relationships are characterized by:

  Being “on” and “off” again and again (many failed attempts at ending the relationship).

 You allow yourself to be pulled back into the relationship, even if you’ve tried to end it before.

Have a hard time going “no contact” with the person (if you’ve decided to end things). You may keep a window “cracked” open just in case.

You feel like you may never find somebody else again.

You give yourself reasons for staying in the relationship that is skewed (not accurate with the reality of the situation.

Even though others have pointed out that the relationship is unhealthy and likely to remain, you feel “stuck” and don’t know how to get out.

If you’re trying to leave a relationship that is characterized as “addictive”, here are some helpful tips to keep in mind:

Identify your needs and focus on getting those needs met more effectively.

Engage in as many activities daily as you can that help bring you a sense of peace and tranquility or calmness.

Practice daily gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal and start your day off by noting 3 things to be grateful for.

Find a support group of like-minded individuals who can understand what you’re going through.

Make a list of the things that you don’t like that your partner has done to you and feel your feelings around that.

Identify and learn from relationship games and roles where you tend to fall into the rescuer, blame, or victim.

Identify the relationship “crazy cycle.” For instance: anticipation – encounter – momentary bliss – confusion – departure – longing – despair. This is just an example; identify the cycle within your own relationship.

Write down what is being fulfilled in your addictive relationship (a sense of belonging, feeling wanted, etc.). Notice the temporary “fix” you encounter when you are with your person; identify the “promise” or “hope” temporarily being fulfilled.

Write down the common obsessive thoughts you have regarding your person.

Consider talking with a professional therapist.

 OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELLMINDED COUNSELING

Therapy for depression isn’t the only service we offer. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services:

What is emotion focused therapy?

Two people sitting across from each other with mugs in their hands. This photo represents how EFT therapy in Broomfield, CO can help you create stronger relationships.

You’re looking for a therapist or even just considering counseling because you’re struggling in your relationship. You and your partner just can’t get on the same page and you keep getting stuck in the same cycle with the same argument or you can’t seem to get past that one thing.

You feel distant, tired, exasperated, hopeless, and alone…but this is your person.

You don’t want to lose them. You want to hold on tight and you’re afraid of making the wrong move or pushing them away. One of you is constantly seeking out the other who only seems to go away. Perhaps you’re in preservation mode and are desperately avoiding upsetting your partner. You may feel like you have to keep your emotions under lock and key, or like you wear your emotions on your sleeve. Either way you’re both feeling alone on separate islands.

An outstretched hand with a lightbulb floating above it. This photo represents how EFT therapy in Broomfield, CO can spark change in your relationship.

This is where Emotion Focused Therapy comes in

In a nutshell, EFT focuses on bonding and emotional security within the relationship. It can be practiced with individuals, couples, and families, and is practiced around the world.

It goes beyond skill building (you know… those communication skills and rules for fair fighting you stumbled on but have never been able to stick with) and actually aims to evoke emotional experiences in therapy. 

I know what you’re thinking, “We’re focusing on feelings in therapy? YIKES.”

Yep. You heard right. We do this because research shows that working on what’s happening here and now and experiencing your emotions in a safe place where you’re met with empathy and validation is what creates lasting change. Together, we look at patterns within the relationship where you continue to get stuck, preventing you from feeling any different despite those skills you learned. 

EFT can be broken into 3 basic steps:

Eggs in a carton with different faces drawn on them. This photo represents how an eft therapist will help you better understand your emotions.

De-escalation

Your therapist will work to de-escalate your negative cycle of interactions to help you see and understand what’s happening in your relationship

Restructuring

Your therapist will help you open up about your fears (not about spiders… real deep-seated fears) using empathy and validation, so as to not push each other away

Consolidation

Your therapist will help you recognize how you got into a negative cycle and how to stop it in its tracks. This way you can continue to have vulnerable and meaningful conversations in the future

You’ll learn how to listen and attune to your partner’s emotional needs and respond in more productive ways. It is hard work and so worth it in the end. Now get out there and break those negative cycles!

BEGIN WORKING WITH AN EFT THERAPIST IN broomfield, co or tampa, fl

If you’re looking for support in your relationship, you may want to consider reaching out to an EFT therapist. A therapist can help you gain more clarity around your emotions and work through the negative patterns showing up in your relationship. If you are interested in getting set up with an EFT therapist at WellMinded Counseling, you can follow these steps to start:

  1. Contact our counseling office to schedule a free 15 minute consultation

  2. Meet with one of our EFT therapists and learn more about our therapy services

  3. Learn how to strengthen your connection with your partner through EFT


OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELLMINDED COUNSELING

Emotion Focused Therapy is just one of the many services that our team of caring therapists provide. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services:

The importance of suicide prevention and how you can help

The WellMinded Counseling team attending the After Dark Suicide Prevention Walk. This photo represents how depression therapy can help prevent suicide.

As a team, WellMinded Counseling attended the After Dark Suicide Prevention Walk in downtown Denver on September 17, 2022. After our experience, we saw a need to provide you with more resources and information to help prevent suicide.

This can be a scary, and challenging topic to talk about. And often no one wants to have to really face the pain and devastation that suicide brings. The grief that comes during a time when someone is struggling or after the completion of suicide is heart-wrenching and can last a lifetime.

There is hope, and healing. There can be a movement towards connection, love, and safety.

The Importance of Suicide Prevention

That’s why we at WellMinded Counseling do the work we do, to help people on this journey and come to a place of peace and healing. And that is why in this blog we are sharing some common myths about suicide, steps to help yourself or a loved one that is struggling with suicidal thoughts, and community resources.

The Truth About Suicide and suicide prevention

Myth: Suicide attempts or deaths happen without warning.

Truth: It’s more likely that suicide intention was not recognized or asked about. 

Myth: Once a person is intent on suicide, there is no way of stopping them.

Truth: Suicides can be prevented. People can be helped, and suicide can be prevented.

Myth: Only certain types of people become suicidal.

Truth: Everyone has the potential for suicide. When a person feels a level of hopelessness, disconnection, and despair as well as other inscribing challenging emotions to process, everyone is capable.

Myth: Every death is preventable.

Truth: No matter how well-intentioned, alert, and diligent people's efforts may be, there is no way of preventing all suicides from occurring. Blaming yourself will not bring the person back, and neither will magical thinking about changing the past.

STeps to help yourself or a loved one struggling with suicidal thoughts

A sign reading "save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide". This photo represents how depression therapy can help those struggling with suicidal thoughts.

  1. Evidence shows asking someone if they're suicidal can protect them. By asking someone directly about suicide, you give them permission to tell you how they feel, and let them know that they are not a burden.

  2. The important thing is to let the person know you will support them, without judgment, as far as you are able to. You don’t need to change what they are going through for them.

  3. Be a part of their support network and find a support network that feels safe.

  4. Engage in self-care, and model self-care for others.

Reach Out to a Depression Therapist in Broomfield, CO or Tampa, FL

If you’re struggling with depression, please know that there is hope. Working with a therapist that specializes in depression can help. We offer depression therapy in Broomfield, CO and Tampa, FL. We can also offer therapy services to anyone in the states of Florida or Colorado through online therapy. You don’t have to navigate this on your own.

You can follow these steps to start:

  1. Contact our counseling office to schedule a free 15-minute consultation

  2. Meet with one of our caring therapists and learn more about our therapy services

  3. Gain relief from depression with the support of a therapist

OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELLMINDED COUNSELING

Therapy for depression isn’t the only service we offer. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services:

Photo of a young girl talking to a therapist representing how we offer depression therapy in tampa, fl and broomfield, co.