By: Anna Dwyer
You feel it in your gut - a constant anxiety. A heaviness in your chest for no reason. Your mind races, but you can't pinpoint why. If you can't name what's "wrong," how can you possibly fix it? When others share their struggles and problems with you, you have great advice and can help them find the answer, so why does it feel so hard to figure out your own stuff? For those of us who have tried it all - read every self help book out there, watched all the TedTalks about managing your stress, follow the most reputable therapists on social media - it can feel especially frustrating to know that our own “knowing” isn’t good enough to fix what’s wrong. But that’s just it - for people who are big on thinking things through, often the way to figure out what’s actually going on isn’t through words, but through your body.
Think about the examples of therapy that you’ve seen in the media. From tv shows to movies to documentaries, the format is the same: a person with a diagnosed (or diagnosable) mental illness or emotional problem sits on a couch and talks about it. But if I can’t figure out how to talk about it, how could therapy possibly work for me? Great news, friend. Therapy isn’t just for people with a clear diagnosis and a highlighted path towards fixing what’s wrong. Keep reading to learn more about how therapists use somatic clues in addition to the therapeutic relationship to help you understand and articulate your inner world.
I. The Body Keeps the Score: Somatic Clues as a Roadmap
It’s easy to understand on a big scale - the person who witnessed a traumatic event wakes up with flashbacks, sweating, in the middle of the night. A person who was in a car accident cannot drive along that same road without her chest tightening and her hands gripping the steering wheel. But what about when I can’t point to some specific cause or trigger? Just like we can store unresolved emotions and memories in our conscious minds, we also store them in our bodies. This can manifest as chronic pain, digestive issues, jaw clenching, shallow breathing, or a constant feeling of tension. These and a million others are “somatic clues” that your therapist can use to help pinpoint what’s going on internally.
Rather than asking you “What’s wrong?” a therapist using somatic clues might ask instead, “Where do you feel that anxiety in your body?” or “What happens when you notice that tightness in your throat?" By exploring these physical sensations without judgment, we can often uncover links to past experiences or unmet needs. A knot in the stomach might connect to a childhood fear, while shoulder tension could be linked to carrying too much responsibility.
II. The Power of Two: Mirror Neurons, Co-Regulation, and Shared Understanding
For many of us, this type of therapy can feel kind of “woo-woo” or “new age.” Trust me, I understand the hesitation! The first time a therapist asked me to identify where I was feeling anxiety in my body, I almost rolled my eyes. It’s not the type of thing we typically examine about ourselves. This is why the therapist-client relationship matters just as much as the somatic clues. Because testing out a new way of listening to yourself and understanding your own somatic clues, having a safe, secure, non-judgmental, attuned presence in the person of the therapist is essential to helping you explore difficult internal territory.
While you could google (or even use Chat GPT) to learn more about how to identify these somatic clues on your own - an activity I would invite anyone reading this to try out in order to familiarize yourself more with the concept of somatic therapy - the reality is that our brains are hardwired for connection. Perhaps you’ve heard about “mirror neurons” or “co-regulation” before. These aren’t just buzz words meant to grab your attention - it’s actually the way our physical brains process information. Essentially, (in general) our brains learn best and fastest when looking at and processing not only the conversation at hand, but also from the body language and unspoken, possibly unnoticed communication cues passing back and forth between us as we engage with one another. A therapist’s calm, empathetic presence (a process aided by mirror neurons) can help regulate your own nervous system, making it safer and easier to sit with uncomfortable physical sensations and emotions.
What does this look like, practically speaking? You may enter therapy with a “blind spot” - something about yourself, like the meaning of somatic clues, that, although blind to you, can be seen more clearly by someone else (the therapist). Through the therapist’s attuned observations, these blind spots can move into a more open area where you can give words, and then find understanding and meaning, to your felt experience.
You don't need a ready-made problem to benefit from therapy. In many ways, therapy is the very process of discovering what needs attention. By learning to listen to the wisdom of your body and within the safety of a secure therapeutic relationship, you can begin to decode your somatic clues. This process transforms vague unease into understandable feelings, allowing you to finally put words to your experience and move from a place of confusion toward one of healing and integration.
OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES WE OFFER IN DENVER, CO
We offer a variety of additional services besides brain-spotting and EMDR therapy. WellMinded Counseling also offers the following therapy services: