The Three Different Types of Boundaries and Why They Are Important

By: Regina Hopkins

Psychological Boundaries – These boundaries let you establish what information you share with others, different opinions, thoughts or beliefs you may hold

Emotional Boundaries - These boundaries help you establish whether or not you let others approach you emotionally, including whether or not you let others affect your emotions, like making you feel joyful or guilty.

Physical Boundaries – This refers to any boundary you may have regarding your physical body. These boundaries help you establish whether or not you let a certain person touch you or not, (including any sexual activity).

 

The next time you have a conversation with someone, try to become mindful of the situation. Observe what they are sharing, what type of information they are sharing, what are you sharing and how are you affecting each other emotionally?

What are your physical boundaries? How much eye contact is there? How far apart are you with the physical space between your bodies? Do you touch each other as you talk?

Being mindful of the boundary, doesn’t mean this is where the boundary should be. You may choose to change the boundaries if you think it would be helpful to you and the relationship.

Once you are aware of the present boundaries in your relationship, you might observe someone trying to change the boundaries, or you might want to make changes in the boundaries. You may want more flexible boundaries, such as sharing more information, let the other person affect you emotionally, or move closer to them. Or, you may want a more rigid boundary such as closing off certain topics, creating more emotional distance, or physically distancing yourself.

These boundary negations often aren’t explicitly discussed. They often happen when one person attempts to move the boundary, and the other person consents, is passive, or resists

For example, you might have a co-worker who you previously only talked to about work matters. Then one day they might share a problem they are having in their personal life. You might negotiate the boundary by continuing the discussion and sharing something from your personal life. You might say nothing or you might redirect the conversation back to work.

You also can explicitly negotiate the boundary. For example, you might tell your co-worker you are glad they shared their personal problem with you, or that you want to keep the conversation focused on work.

It’s also important to note that boundaries aren’t fixed. Just because you set boundaries in one place, doesn’t mean you can’t change the boundaries in the future.

When you aren’t sure if your boundary is too “rigid” or too “flexible” it’s a good idea to practice your “wise-mind” (a concept from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, DBT). In wise-mind you are integrating both your emotional mind (and sensory experiences) and your rational mind. It’s the synthesis of these two minds meeting that we call your “wise-mind”.  Wise mind is often described as a centered, gut-feeling felt in the body. To help get into your wise-mind headspace, one technique is to practice breathing in, holding for a count of 10, and breathing out for a count of 10. As you are practicing your breath work, you can imagine the words, “Wise” as you are breathing in, and “Mind” as you are slowly breathing out. This can help recenter you and give you more clarity to help you make those sometimes difficult integrated decisions, and help you determine where you would like your boundaries to be.

 

Professional credit given to:

Dialectical Behavior Therapy.Katrina. 2022.https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/interpersonal-boundaries/

LGBTQ+ Identity and Mental Health

The LGBTQ+, or queer, community is incredibly varied. This community is made up of a number of diverse identities, all with unique experiences and unique relationships to mental health. Yet, studies have shown that people who identify as LGBTQ+ experience mental illness and psychological distress at rates much higher than their straight, cisgender counterparts, and are more likely to seek out mental health treatment. Why is that? Let’s be clear: identifying as LGBTQ+ is absolutely not a mental illness. However, there are a number of factors that may explain this statistic.

            First, while we may have progressed quite a bit in recent years, there are still a lot of negative attitudes and beliefs about queerness and queer individuals. Many queer folks experience discrimination, harassment, and threatened or actual physical violence. On top of this, society is designed for straight and cisgender folks, which can feel isolating. One example is the issue surrounding gendered restroom access; the simple act of looking for a public restroom is often a figurative minefield for queer and trans folks. This increased stigma is a likely culprit for poorer mental health among LGBTQ+ individuals. In fact, stigma has been shown to have a negative effect on both mental and physical health. Access to affirming and respectful care, especially in mental health treatment, is crucial. This can help to negate some of the harmful effects of anti-queer stigma and equip people with tools to cope effectively.

             Another reason that queer folks might seek therapy is for identity exploration. While many individuals have little reason to consider their sexual or gender identities, those who do may wish to do so with assistance from a therapist or counselor. Working with a mental health professional can create a safe space dedicated to the incredibly important task of self-exploration. Additionally, the processes of coming out and transitioning can both be incredibly daunting and even distressing. Many folks may wish to seek support from a therapist while they navigate the changes that come along with growing into their queer identity.

      To be queer is to be a part of a vibrant and rich community (there’s a reason the flag is a rainbow!). It’s important that mental health providers recognize the specific needs of this group and are aware of how individuals may experience challenges differently. Luckily, there are plenty of competent and affirming therapists, many of whom specialize in working with LGBTQ+ folks.  

At WellMinded Counseling we offer inclusive care and how to support any individual on their mental health journey.  

Courage in Conversations: Finding Comfort in Connection

What is Social Anxiety? 

A helping hand reaches towards an upset teen sitting with their hands over their head. This could represent the support anxiety treatment in Broomfield, CO can offer. Learn more about anxiety treatment in Boulder, CO and other services today. 80020

Social anxiety is an overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety. It can lead to avoidance that can disrupt your day-to-day life. Intense stress can affect your relationships, daily routines, work, school, or other activities. Social anxiety can look like this: 

  • Avoidance or worry about social activities. This may include things like parties, group conversations, and meeting new people. 

  • Worry about everyday activities such as starting conversations, speaking on the phone, shopping, or working. 

  • Issues doing activities when others are watching you. You may feel that others are judging you 

  • Avoiding eye contact or having low self-esteem, fear of being criticized. 

  • Physical symptoms such as feeling sick, trembling, sweating, or racing heartbeat can occur. 

What Are the Signs of Social Anxiety? 

It can be challenging to feel social anxiety during everyday activities. It is an internal battle people are faced with. Signs that someone has social anxiety are:  

Physical Symptoms

  • Shaking/Sweating

  • Racing heart

  • Upset stomach/Nausea 

  • Trouble catching your breath 

  • Lack of concentration

 Behavioral Symptoms 

  • Avoid talking to strangers

  • Struggle attending school or going to work 

  • Avoid being the center of attention 

Cognitive Symptoms 

  • Ruminating thoughts 

  • Out of control negative thinking 

  • Worrying 

How We at WellMinded Counseling Can Help Through Anxiety Treatment in Broomfield, CO

A lone woman sits overlooking a cloudy shoreline. This could represent the isolation that anxiety treatment in Broomfield, CO can address. Contact an anxiety therapist in Broomfield, CO to learn more about therapy for anxiety in Broomfield, CO. 80020

When social anxiety becomes overwhelming for a person, it can be hard for others to understand. Are you noticing someone struggling with social anxiety? If so, having compassion for that person will help to make the person feel comfortable. Along with providing an open space for the individual to know that they are not alone. Anxiety treatment in Broomfield, CO, and Boulder, CO will provide you with tools you can use to help cope with social anxiety. Anxiety treatment will also help you explore where the anxiety originated from. Sessions with your therapist may even introduce the idea of exposure therapy. In exposure therapy, you will be offered incremental goals to help create less destress around being in social situations. Therapies such as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Acceptance Comment Therapy are often used to help manage and treat social anxiety as well.

Resources 

https://www.okaynowbreathe.com/podcast/

https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forums/

Written By Malhia Best

A little bit about the author: Malhia works with young adults, adults, and adolescents, with a particular passion for supporting younger generations amidst today’s challenging environment. In her free time, Malhia enjoys cooking/baking and trying new recipes, exploring new restaurants, and spending time with family and friends. 

Begin Anxiety Treatment in Broomfield, CO

woman talking with professional. Social anxiety is daunting. Talking with an anxiety therapist can help. Learn about anxiety treatment in Broomfield, CO today, and get support with anxiety symptoms.

Our team of caring therapists would be honored to offer you support from our Broomfield, CO-based therapy practice. You don't have to struggle with the stress of social anxiety alone. To begin counseling in Broomfield, CO, or online therapy in Colorado, please follow these steps:

  1. Contact our Counseling Office

  2. Meet with an anxiety therapist for a free consultation

  3. Begin overcoming your anxiety symptoms.

Other Counseling Services Offered at WellMinded Counseling Center

Our Denver area counseling center sees clients of all ages and addresses a wide variety of mental health concerns. WellMinded offers the following counseling services:

Deep Dive into Self-Harm, and Ways to Heal from it

What is self-harm?

Self-harming is an unhealthy coping strategy that many people engage in to try to manage strong feelings. Self-harm can present itself in many different forms. Self-harm can look like: 

black and white photo of a man looking sad grabbing his shoulder with his opposite hand

  • Cutting or burning their skin

  • Punching or hitting themselves or objects

  • Poisoning themselves with tablets or toxic chemicals

  • Excessive use of alcohol or drugs

  • Pulling out their hair

  • Deliberately starving themselves or binge eating

  • Excessively exercising

What are the signs of self harm?

It can be difficult to tell when someone is self-harming because people often try to hide it due to feelings of shame. Signs that someone may be self-harming:

  • Always keeping certain parts of their body concealed

  • Unexplained injuries such as cut marks or bruises

  • Changes in eating habits

  • Going to the bathroom right after eating

  • Increased isolation and withdrawal

  • Avoiding situation where they would need to reveal skin such as swimming

  • Expressed feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness


Why do people self-harm?

artistic rendering of two hands that are a variety of colors with the hands open towards the sky

Self-harm is not a way of attempting suicide, rather it is unhealthy coping strategy. Self-harm can be a way to release or distract from overwhelming and painful emotions. These emotions may include shame, anger, grief, and self-loathing. People often self-harm as a way to feel grounded or gain a sense of control. Additionally, some people self-harm as a way to feel something if they have been feeling numb or empty. Self-harm may momentarily bring the person feelings of calmness and relief, but it is not a permanent solution, and the negative feelings always return. Some people may be able to self-harm a few times and never do it again, but for a lot of people it becomes a compulsion.

How to stay safe!

Although self-harm is not a suicide attempt, it can still be life-threatening. If you notice someone is struggling with self-harm, keep a close eye on them in case of emergency. If someone you know is self-harming, the first thing to do is to reach out to a mental health professional and get them in treatment to begin learning healthier coping strategies and emotional regulation tools. Some grounding techniques are: 

  • Splash cold water on your face

  • Snap a rubber band on wrist

  • Hold an ice cube in your hand and let it fully melt

  • Breathe deeply

  • Go for a walk or run

  • Rip up paper

  • Draw on skin with a soft tipped pen in places you would usually cut

To hands reaching for each other and a black paper heart is being passed from one hand to the other

It can be difficult to stop self-harming, but it is not impossible. If someone you know is trying to quit, remember to be gentle with them and refrain from showing anger. Talking about self-harm brings the shame the person experiences into the light where it can no longer flourish. It is also important to get rid of all the objects with which the person has been self-harming, which might entail locking up knives, pills, cleaning supplies, not allowing razors, etc. It is also important to let the person know that they are not alone in their struggle to quit. 



Resources

https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/self-harm/#what-is-self-harm-1 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/self-harming/co/broomfield 

https://coloradocrisisservices.org/ 


Written By Karli McClure

A little bit about the author: Karli has been practicing therapy for two years and has been involved in the mental health field for over six years. When she is not working, Karli enjoys spending time outdoors skiing and hiking with her family and friends, practicing yoga, and curling up on the couch with her two cats and a good book.



OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELL MINDED COUNSELING CENTER

Our Denver area counseling center sees clients of all ages and addresses a wide variety of mental health concerns. WellMinded offers the following counseling services:








Building Self-Care

RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF

Today’s society often finds it difficult to focus on themselves when undergoing anxiety, depression, stress, anger, frustration, etc. Focusing on oneself not only allows one to acknowledge what is wrong but also how to make it better. As everyone knows, everyone experiences negative thoughts; the difference is, who can properly handle them.

INDIVIDUALITY IS IMPORTANT

One of the best ways in controlling stress is to gain control for yourself. Self-care allows people to perform at their best whether they are being social or with work. Out of everything, self-care supports overall well-being-mentally, socially, physically, and emotionally. In today’s society, many people like to over-exert themselves, both at work and at home. Self-care helps with that, it allows people to build themselves up, and regain resilience.

WHAT IS SELF-CARE?

Now onto the description of self-care. Self-care is known to lower anxiety, depression and to reduce stress. It is known to improve concentration. It can minimize everyday frustration and anger. No matter the difficulties, self-care is able to increase happiness, improve energy, and more. It does not matter what one chooses; what does matter is that you are able to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself. Several examples are:

  • bubble bath

  • calming music

  • reading

  • setting phone aside

  • Mindfulness

  • Yoga

  • journaling

  • Take a break

For those who are more into interactive procedures for enjoyment, there are different forms of self-care that may help you relax better and help with self-discovery. Several examples of interactive self-care are listed below:

  • Walking outside alone

  • Connect with friends and family

  • Playing video games

  • Cleaning

  • Take a break

At first, people may not know when to take a break. After taking a break people are able to clear their minds and work on everything better and with more enjoyment. Also, remember that everyone experiences some form of negative thoughts at some point. Never feel guilty if you ever need to turn to family/friends for some form of help.

By: Courtney Miller, LPC

OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELL MINDED COUNSELING CENTER

Our Denver area counseling center sees clients of all ages and addresses a wide variety of mental health concerns. WellMinded offers the following counseling services: