What is self-harm?
Self-harming is an unhealthy coping strategy that many people engage in to try to manage strong feelings. Self-harm can present itself in many different forms. Self-harm can look like:
Cutting or burning their skin
Punching or hitting themselves or objects
Poisoning themselves with tablets or toxic chemicals
Excessive use of alcohol or drugs
Pulling out their hair
Deliberately starving themselves or binge eating
Excessively exercising
What are the signs of self harm?
It can be difficult to tell when someone is self-harming because people often try to hide it due to feelings of shame. Signs that someone may be self-harming:
Always keeping certain parts of their body concealed
Unexplained injuries such as cut marks or bruises
Changes in eating habits
Going to the bathroom right after eating
Increased isolation and withdrawal
Avoiding situation where they would need to reveal skin such as swimming
Expressed feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
Why do people self-harm?
Self-harm is not a way of attempting suicide, rather it is unhealthy coping strategy. Self-harm can be a way to release or distract from overwhelming and painful emotions. These emotions may include shame, anger, grief, and self-loathing. People often self-harm as a way to feel grounded or gain a sense of control. Additionally, some people self-harm as a way to feel something if they have been feeling numb or empty. Self-harm may momentarily bring the person feelings of calmness and relief, but it is not a permanent solution, and the negative feelings always return. Some people may be able to self-harm a few times and never do it again, but for a lot of people it becomes a compulsion.
How to stay safe!
Although self-harm is not a suicide attempt, it can still be life-threatening. If you notice someone is struggling with self-harm, keep a close eye on them in case of emergency. If someone you know is self-harming, the first thing to do is to reach out to a mental health professional and get them in treatment to begin learning healthier coping strategies and emotional regulation tools. Some grounding techniques are:
Splash cold water on your face
Snap a rubber band on wrist
Hold an ice cube in your hand and let it fully melt
Breathe deeply
Go for a walk or run
Rip up paper
Draw on skin with a soft tipped pen in places you would usually cut
It can be difficult to stop self-harming, but it is not impossible. If someone you know is trying to quit, remember to be gentle with them and refrain from showing anger. Talking about self-harm brings the shame the person experiences into the light where it can no longer flourish. It is also important to get rid of all the objects with which the person has been self-harming, which might entail locking up knives, pills, cleaning supplies, not allowing razors, etc. It is also important to let the person know that they are not alone in their struggle to quit.
Resources
https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/self-harm/#what-is-self-harm-1
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/self-harming/co/broomfield
https://coloradocrisisservices.org/
Written By Karli McClure
A little bit about the author: Karli has been practicing therapy for two years and has been involved in the mental health field for over six years. When she is not working, Karli enjoys spending time outdoors skiing and hiking with her family and friends, practicing yoga, and curling up on the couch with her two cats and a good book.
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