What is emotion focused therapy?
By: Dayna Sammartino
You’re looking for a therapist or even just considering counseling because you’re struggling in your relationship. You and your partner just can’t get on the same page and you keep getting stuck in the same cycle with the same argument or you can’t seem to get past that one thing.
You feel distant, tired, exasperated, hopeless, and alone…but this is your person.
You don’t want to lose them. You want to hold on tight and you’re afraid of making the wrong move or pushing them away. One of you is constantly seeking out the other who only seems to go away. Perhaps you’re in preservation mode and are desperately avoiding upsetting your partner. You may feel like you have to keep your emotions under lock and key, or like you wear your emotions on your sleeve. Either way you’re both feeling alone on separate islands.
This is where Emotion Focused Therapy comes in
In a nutshell, EFT focuses on bonding and emotional security within the relationship. It can be practiced with individuals, couples, and families, and is practiced around the world.
It goes beyond skill building (you know… those communication skills and rules for fair fighting you stumbled on but have never been able to stick with) and actually aims to evoke emotional experiences in therapy.
I know what you’re thinking, “We’re focusing on feelings in therapy? YIKES.”
Yep. You heard right. We do this because research shows that working on what’s happening here and now and experiencing your emotions in a safe place where you’re met with empathy and validation is what creates lasting change. Together, we look at patterns within the relationship where you continue to get stuck, preventing you from feeling any different despite those skills you learned.
EFT can be broken into 3 basic steps:
De-escalation
Your therapist will work to de-escalate your negative cycle of interactions to help you see and understand what’s happening in your relationship
Restructuring
Your therapist will help you open up about your fears (not about spiders… real deep-seated fears) using empathy and validation, so as to not push each other away
Consolidation
Your therapist will help you recognize how you got into a negative cycle and how to stop it in its tracks. This way you can continue to have vulnerable and meaningful conversations in the future
You’ll learn how to listen and attune to your partner’s emotional needs and respond in more productive ways. It is hard work and so worth it in the end. Now get out there and break those negative cycles!
BEGIN WORKING WITH AN EFT THERAPIST IN broomfield, co or tampa, fl
If you’re looking for support in your relationship, you may want to consider reaching out to an EFT therapist. A therapist can help you gain more clarity around your emotions and work through the negative patterns showing up in your relationship. If you are interested in getting set up with an EFT therapist at WellMinded Counseling, you can follow these steps to start:
Contact our counseling office to schedule a free 15 minute consultation
Meet with one of our EFT therapists and learn more about our therapy services
Learn how to strengthen your connection with your partner through EFT
OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT WELLMINDED COUNSELING
Emotion Focused Therapy is just one of the many services that our team of caring therapists provide. WellMinded Counseling offers the following counseling services: