This is the answer people expect from you when they as “How are you?”. I personally can hardly tolerate this distressing transaction. 

Can we as members of society be authentic when we have such exchanges. I highly doubt it. 

On the other hand for the person saying “I’m fine” let’s us hold up our masks that we use to hide from the world. 

When we share this interaction we may be submitting to compliancy, and mediocrity in our relationships or subduing our True Self. If we were honest to the question of “How are you?”, the authentic answers would be more along the lines of: 

I’m stresses

I’m depressed

I’m wanting to forget

I’m tired

I’m angry 

I’m scared

I’m heartbroken

I’m confused

I’m lonely, etc. 

Because we have stigmatized emotions in society sharing anything less than happy is you not following this unspoken social code of engagement. If we continue to engage in conversations in which we deny ourselves true connection we will continue to be “fine” while unconnected. We are agreeing to a less passionate life whole participating in this social code. 

It’s up to us, choose to engage, to feel to be connected, or choose to sit by, to numb, to be disconnected